Just Remember Me
by natebuzolicious
Summary: Ella and Gazzy are best friends. These are Ella's thoughts when Gazzy dies in a car accident. AU. AH. Little OOC.


Just Remember Me, Love Gazzy

**By: SGwannabe**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot. The song is Breathe by Taylor Swift.**

Ella POV

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away_

As I drove away from the hospital, my thoughts were clouded with the Gasman, or Gazzy. He was my best friend. And he died. He was driving back from my place after comforting me because my boyfriend broke up with me. A stupid drunk driver hit him.

_  
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way_

None of us thought Gazzy was going to leave us this early. He was only seventeen! He was going to grow up and go to college! And so suddenly, it all changed…

_  
People are people and sometimes we change our minds  
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time_

It's killing everyone to see Gaz all bloody and broken and white… Especially me. 

_Mmmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm  
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm_

_Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie  
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see_

I don't want to see any ending to any of my friends. No one. But their Gazzy was, in the morgue, his eyes closed just like he was sleeping… but we all saw the blood everywhere. The broken bones, too. The image was going to haunt me forever.

_  
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down_

I'm already down and sad and mopey… what's the difference?

_  
Now I don't know what to be without you around  
_

How was I supposed to move on like this was nothing? Like Gazzy never died because my stupid boyfriend broke up with me? It was my fault and I knew it. It was my fault Gazzy died.

_  
And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

I need you Gazzy. No one is here to save me without you. Not my mom, dad, Max, Nudge, Fang Iggy, or even Angel. I'm so sorry, Gazzy. I know it was my entire fault you're gone now.

_  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

It's kinda sad. I don't even know myself that well. As well as I know you at least. 

_And I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to_

I know I have to keep living. For my family, and my friends. But what good is it without you here? What good is living and having fun when the next second you're guilt ridden? 

_Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt_

I swear I never wanted anything to happen to you. I would gladly throw myself in Death's way if it came at you. I don't ever want to see you hurt or broken, ever.

_  
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve  
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out  
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out_

I know that, now. 

_And we know it's never simple, never easy_

How is mourning the death of a dear friend ever easy or simple? It's not, that's how.

_  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

It can't ever be a clean break either. Every time I hear the TV announcer say another life has been stolen because of a drunk driver, I'm going to burst into tears. Because I'm going to remember you, Gazzy. Always.

_  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

I don't know anyone else as well as I know you, Gaz. I know that for a fact.

_And I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to_

I have to keep living. No matter how hard or how painful it really is I'm going to keep living and breathing. 

_It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend_

I did lose a friend. My very best friend in the whole wide world.

_  
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me_

It'll never be easy for me. Or anyone for that matter.

_  
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend  
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy_

Of course we know. When is anything in life going to be simple or easy? Never.

_  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh_

No one is going to save me from my never-ending misery. No one. Now that Gazzy is gone, nothing or nobody can take his place. No one. 

_I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to_

I know it's going to be so hard without you Gazzy. I'm going to miss you a lot. I can't move on. I can't leave. But you did. You left me here all alone. 

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_

But I guess I deserve it. I killed you. I'm sorry I killed you. I'm the one to blame. Not the drunk driver. If I hadn't phoned you and asked you to come over too my house, you wouldn't had left at eleven at night to go home. Only to be killed by a drunk driver. I was to blame. This was all me.

The End

**Wow. When I read over it, it didn't seem so sad. But, alas! You must review! Just press the little button! You know you want to! =)**


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